On Grandparents
The thing about being a parent is that there is no rule book, no real guide to be that person who gives birth to or raises a child. It’s the most important job in the world but not often given the attention it deserves even though it inevitably affects your life. A parent teaches a child so much; in utero, in the first few months after birth and forever more because once a parent always a parent. Parents are the first people that a child learns anything from, given that many different people can be a child’s primary carer.
And that’s where being a grandparent comes in as they are parents too. How often do people really look at their own behaviour in their relationship with their children? Parents unresolved issues will automatically be transferred onto their children consciously or not. The child must cope with and manage these issues that are not intrinsically their own, being shaped to a large degree by other’s behaviour and choices. Primary care givers should ensure that they do the necessary self-reflection and work on themselves to sort out and own their ‘stuff.’
Grandparents can give their grandchildren and themselves a sort of second chance at becoming more self-aware, simply because they’ve already ‘been there and done that’. Experience passed on with wisdom, care and thoughtfulness gained through mistakes and hindsight, is incredibly valuable. It’s how knowledge has traditionally been passed down through the generations and is something that a grandparent should take on board on a conscious level. You can make a substantial difference in your grandchildren’s lives by looking within, contemplating your own parenting skills, making beneficial internal adjustments that heal and strengthen you from within. “The sins of the fathers are visited upon the children” (Holy Bible) is a profound reminder of this concept.
“When my client has learned to answer their own questions, my job is done”.
Need to know more? WhatsApp on +27823740940 or email on barbara@barbarascogings.com to book a complimentary 20-minute session to discuss this in more detail.