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Celebrating National Child Health Day.

Teach and guide your children well and teach them from a very young age that they are made up of four basic parts: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. When we read Child Health Day, I guarantee that most people think of physical health: how to build the immune system, how to prevent disease, what vitamins and minerals to take, is their diet balanced and are they getting enough exercise and sunshine. Some people may think about children’s mental health and seek help in managing ADD, Dyslexia, depression or anxiety. Other people may groom their children into a particular religious or spiritual path thinking that’s all they need to connect to their own spiritual needs.

But how many parents monitor their children’s emotional well-being, how many are conscious of how their behaviour affects their children and actually regulate that dynamic, and how many realize that our emotional quotient is the superglue that holds much of our life together?  Children must feel comfortable with their emotions, negative and positive alike, be able to access them easily, be able to give them expression and above all sustain a deep emotional honesty with themselves and with others.

Children will develop unhealthy coping mechanisms if they are not taught how to understand and regulate their own unique emotional system. They may become people pleasers, over achievers, perfectionists, over thinkers, or overly shy for example. One way I taught my two children was by letting them experience what I was trying to verbalize to them:

I would take them out individually for a milkshake and ask them to share anything that was bothering them, what they didn’t like about me, what they thought I could better relate to them, what they were happy and grateful for, what their fears were and as long as they were honest with themselves and with me, it would always be a worthwhile experience. They knew they wouldn’t be judged or criticized, I would listen intently, no interruptions, no reactive responses, and no trying to fix things for them. I created a safe space for them to connect with their emotions and express them honestly to me without the fear of repercussion. To this day both children have healthy communication skills, can emotionally self-regulate, can access their own emotions and give them expression, and are unafraid of being honest in their individual thinking and feeling. They are aware of how their behaviour impacts on others and take responsibility for their own actions, understanding that many actions are driven by emotion.

This is how children mature. Teach your children well.

“When my client has learned to answer their own questions, my job is done”.

Need to know more? WhatsApp on +27823740940 or email on barbara@barbarascogings.com to book a complimentary 20-minute session to discuss this in more detail.